I Don’t Want to be Grown up

This story happened about seven years ago. I visited my parents in Solo, so it was time to meet my younger sister’s family too. Anik, my younger sister, had been married and had 3 sons. Her oldest son, Ian, was on the second grade of primary school. He was too skinny. Anik told me for Ian many kinds of food did not appetizing. She had tried many kinds of food and appetizer, but it didn’t help. ‘Do tell him something that increase his appetite..’, Anik begged me. I promised her I would try. One afternoon, Ian was playing with my son, Akbar. I joined them. ‘Ian have I told you story of a man that never growing taller? He was shorter than a table’s leg as long as his life…’ Ian and Akbar started to pay attention to my words. ‘Why, auntie?’ Ian asked. ‘Because really it was the stomach that play important job. The stomach acted just like a pump. When it was filled it will pump our body to grow taller and bigger. The short man I told you had very flat stomach, it never been filled enough so the pump didn’t work and he stayed short, never taller and bigger. Do you know how to fill the stomach?’. Akbar shouted, ‘I know mom, with food and milk’. ‘It’s true honey, what kind of food do you like Ian?’, I asked him. ‘I don’t like rice, I don’t like porridge, I don’t like noodles, I like choco milk, I like candy, I don’t like banana, I don’t like oranges, I like ice cream….what else?’…He looked like thinking. ‘Come here Ian, let me see your stomach. Hmm… it’s very flat, let me see closer, hmm I know it had been filled with choco milk, ice cream…but it still too flat. Stand here, you know that Akbar is one year younger than you, but you are now as tall as Akbar. You should be taller than him. Try to fill your stomach with more and many kind of food, honey, you’ll see you’ll grow taller and bigger. I heard that you want to be a basketball player, didn’t you? You’ll be a great basket ball player when you’re taller than your daddy. You want to grow up, taller and bigger, don’t you? So try to eat many kind of food more, honey…OK?’. He said slowly, ‘OK auntie, but……’. ‘But what Ian?’ I asked him. ‘Auntie I think I really don’t want to grow up. When I grow up and taller than my daddy I know daddy gonna be older. He’s old now and I don’t want daddy to be older to soon, die to soon’. His answer for a while amaze me, but then make me smile and laugh. Eddy, Ian’s daddy, age about 34 has hair that almost white of grey. Maybe it was some kind of heredity for his brother’s hair had full of grey too in his mid 30. His daddy’s grey made Ian didn’t want to grow up. You see, sometimes we can not imagine what is in the mind of little children. Today, Ian is in t 3 rd grade of junior high school. He is healthy, taller than his daddy, and has a big appetite. His daddy’s hair had been painted in dark brown too.

Ask him yourself, Mom

My teen ager son, Akbar, is almost 14. He is at the second grade of junior high school (Indonesian: SMP). He likes the organizational activity (now he is the deputy of chief of OSIS SMP Negeri 5 Bandung). He likes music, he is a melody guitar player in his band (named Riverside). Everyone said he has good looking. And when I meet the parents of his friends, they said that Akbar is very popular among the girls. At home he is a relatively nice and good tempered boy. Sometimes he becomes very lazy and very annoying when he starts to disturb his little brother. That’s Akbar. His daddy sometimes wants to check the messages in his handphone, but has failed, to open the message was needed a password that only Akbar knows. ‘Everyone said he has a girl friend. Who is she? As his mother you should investigate, teen ager shouldn’t be in love seriously…’ I smiled, I believe it wont’ be. I know his activity, his friends, his girl friends, but I don’t know who is his girl friend really. I asked Lia who is Akbar girl friend now. She said’ “You don’t know Mom?’ . I said, ‘ I know Akbar’s girl friends but I don’t know his really girl friend now. He ever told you, didn’t he? Tell me honey…’ Lia smiled mysteriously, ‘Ask him yourself, Mom….’. Another day I asked Salman, Akbar’s little brother. He said, ‘You don’t know his girl friend, Mom?’ . ‘I don’t, tell me dear…’ . As his sister he said (after silent for a while), ‘Ask him yourself, Mom..’. I asked Salman, ‘You don’t know her, do you?’. ‘I know her Mom, Mas Akbar told me before. Ask him, I’m sure he will tell you..’ Well, that are my children. As Mom, I got lesson today. It’s good to ask him myself. Investigate via another person without asking him first just show that I don’t believe to him. I do believe to Akbar. I will ask who is his girl friend now. I will tell him not to make the love story as the very important thing of his life right now. I will tell him someday monkey love is good to be remembered but it is not the only one thing that can fill the teen ager life.

The Unforgettable Mr. Salam

Mr. Salam was a teacher at SD Negeri Percobaan, Surabaya. He was Lia’s teacher at grade 6. My daughter, Lia, was very fond and respect to him. For me he was almost an ideal teacher too. He could be friend to his students and also could be a father. He gave so many homeworks but he also spent his spare time to correct the homeworks seriously. He insisted the children to learn and understand the topics he’d explained but he also made himself as a bank of solution for all of the students’s question. Mr. Salam was Lia’s favourite teacher. Our family moved to Bandung as Lia graduated from SD Negeri Percobaan Surabaya. She entered SMP Negeri 5 Bandung and then SMA Negeri 3 Bandung. She still in touch with her friends in Surabaya and Mr. Salam. About 3 years ago when the teachers of SD Negeri Percobaan Surabaya were visiting Bandung for a vacation, Mr. Salam phoned Lia too. Unfortunately Lia couldn’t meet her teachers for they were going to return to Surabaya already. And a few months ago, Lia sobbed after receiving a short message from Gita, her friend in Surabaya. ‘Mommy, we missed Mr. Salam. He passed away yesterday. Mr. Salam had been sick for a month, but Gita didn’t know the disease…’. The news shocked me too. I took the handphone and made a contact with Mrs. Umi, Lia’s teacher in Surabaya. Mrs. Umi said Mr. Salam got myasthenia gravis, a neuromuscular disease characterized by weakness and marked fatigability of skeletal muscle. Maybe the treatment was too late for him. ‘Listen honey, the end of life is always a mystery, and good people often pass away soon. If you love and respect Mr. Salam you have to make his dream come true. He dreamt his students become fair leaders in every field and their knowledge always give solution in every problem. You have to study hard, honey…..’. Still sobbing, Lia nodded.

The Naruto Fever

My son, Salman (now almost 10), is enjoying the Naruto’s series on TV. Every evening he spends about an hour, watching his favourite series. His sister, Lia, and his brother, Akbar, often accompany him watching the series, for they’re also like the story. And when the children start to watch the TV seriously, I try to join them. Soon, I get involved in the story of the ninja boy Naruto Uzumaki and his fiends Sasuke Uchiha, Sakura Haruno, Shikamaru Nara etc. Sasuke and Naruto become Salman’s idol. Lia likes the ponytail hair Shikamaru and Akbar becomes the fan of Kakashi Hatake, Naruto’s teacher. Actually it’s interesting story. When we’re watching the series, the scene of the fights are not interesting to me. But not for Salman. He often watchs the fists in detail and then practices them. One day he’s watching the series, beside him I was reading the newspaper. The episode was about the fight of Naruto and Ghara. Salman had watched this episode on the other TV chanel. ‘Look mommy, look at the fist….’. I put the newspaper in my lap and watched the TV, Ghara started to attack Naruto. ‘What fist?’, I asked him. ‘Wait for a moment, mommy, look when he fights back Ghara….look…see…it’s incredible fist…’. For me it’s just ordinary fist. When the show was over, Salman started to practice the fists, he fought against the sofa. I sometimes wonder what’s in the mind of ten years old boy…..

Lesson to Sell

I and my husband agree, we have to teach the children not only how to spend money efficiently but also how to earn money. In 1999 when my daughter Lia collected many kinds of letter paper (a piece of paper where the letter used to be written on), she insisted me more often to buy her many sets of letter paper. Knew this, her daddy suggested, ‘There are 12 to 30 pieces of paper in each set, and you just keep one piece in every set as your collection. So what are you going to do with the other pieces? Why don’t you exchange them with your friends’s collection? So you don’t have to buy new sets to add your collection, dear’. Lia said, ‘I did, daddy, but sometimes my friends didn’t want their collection to be exchanged’. ‘So why don’t you sell the other pieces to your friend? Maybe your friends don’t want to exchange their collection because like you, in each type of paper they just keep one piece. Exchange the collection means that they don’t add their collection. If you sell the rest of the paper to them they can add their collection without losing one. Try to sell dear’. Lia, was 8, said, ‘OK daddy, I’ll try’. A few days later she reported to her daddy. ‘Look daddy, I got 9200 rupiahs. In average I sold each piece of paper 250 rupiahs, if the type is my favourite I sold it 500 rupiahs. And when Regita said this one is very pretty, I raised the price for her, any price won’t be a problem for her. But daddy, you know Rully, everyday she brings only 250 rupiahs to school. So I sold 6 pieces of paper for only 100 rupiahs. I said thye’re a gift but she insisted to pay 100 rupiahs’. I and my husband smiled. My husband huged her, ‘Very good dear, mommy gives you only 1000 rupiahs each day, and in a few days you can collect 9200 rupiahs. That’s very good. Now you’ve learnt how to earn money. You also have to learn how to spend them efficiently. Keep selling dear….’

Easy Mover

As PT Telkom Indonesia Tbk’s employ my husband’s tour of duty can be all around Indonesia. In 2003, after 13 years of marriage we had moved from Palembang, Bandung, Ujung Pandang, Madiun, Surabaya, before returned to Bandung. We came to Palembang in 1990 with 2 suitcases, mine and my husband’s. We started to buy things to fill our house. In 1991 our daughter, Lia, was born. In October 1992 we moved to Bandung. Still in Bandung our son, Akbar, was born in April 1994. We flied to Ujung Pandang in July 1994 and stayed there until July 1997, when we became the resident of Madiun. In February 1998 when we were visiting our parents in Solo, my youngest son, Salman, was born. In March 2000 from Madiun, we moved to Surabaya, and at last since July 2003 we returned to Bandung. We decided to stay in Bandung. Experienced as a frequent mover had made me and my children gained many kinds of skill. In their new school Lia and Akbar became easy adapted children, they could built relationship with their friends as soon as they joined the new school. They also learned the local language easily. And I gained the skill and art of packing before moving and also strategy to make up the house after moving. Want to know one of my tip? If you are going to move while you still have children under 5 years old, pack the things and code each pack with the content. Give special records for pack with code ‘Children Toys’ and ‘Our special hobbies’. In your new house prepare one room specially to open the pack of ‘Children Toys’ and ‘Our special hobbies’. In average it needs about 2 weeks to make up the new house perfectly. Let the children play happily in that room while the house is being made up. They will not disturb you when all of their toys are there. When tiredness come, rest in the same room and do what your hobbies. For me, reading is my hobby. So I can rest and easily look for the book I want to read in that room. For my husband, he just plays his guitar and sings his favourite song. When almost all of the things have placed at their place so you can move the toys and things of your hobbies to the place where they have to be and arrange the content of the special room. Children generally don’t realize they’re in new environment when all of their special things are in the reach of their hand. This help you for they will not bother your activity in making up the house. And doing your hobbies will erase the stress caused of chaotic situation of the new house, when it doesn’t made up yet. So, yau can happily make up the house…..

A ‘Seeking for Diamonds’ Dance

This story happened in 1985. My daughter Lia was in the kindergarten. One day said to me, ‘Mommy we are going to dance on the stage. Mrs. Nurmi had made me and my friends practice the Rainbow dance’. ‘Was it? How’s the dance?’, I asked her. While singing the song she practiced the Rainbow dance in front of me. Several days passed, and she said to me, ‘Mommy I wasn’t in the Rainbow dance anymore. Mrs. Nurmi chose me to join the Happy dance team’. ‘Its OK honey, can you?’. Again, in front of my eyes she practiced the Happy dance. Two days later she informed me, ‘Mommy finally I joined the Seeking for Diamonds dance (in Indonesian: Tari Mendulang Intan)’. She practiced the last dance everyday. When the time to the stage came, she, with a peasant costume, was very eager to go to hall where the stage was. At the hall her teacher told me and my husband to take a seat while she asking Lia to sit with her dancer friends near the stage. The show had begun. Seeking for Diamonds dance was placed as the fifth dance. When the second dance was over, Mrs. Nurmi asked me to go to the back stage. ‘She said that she will not dance…’,Mrs. Nurmi told me. I bent to Lia, ‘Why honey, you had practiced everyday….’ She whispered to me, ‘Mommy I want to dance the Rainbow dance..’. I wondered. ‘Why honey…?’. Lia sobbed, ‘I want to wear necklace, drop earrings and golden bracelets just like Laura. I like the Rainbow dance, mommy, why Mrs. Nurmi switched me to another dance? If she didn’t switched me I will wear costume just like Laura’s’. Mrs. Nurmi asked me to force Lia to the stage when the time came. ‘See honey, you have to come to the stage and dance the Seeking for Diamonds dance. After that we can go to the shop and buy anything you want, OK?’, first she didn’t react. She still sobbed. I told her, ‘You can buy the new shoes or back pack…or such a costume with necklace, drop earrings and bracelets…’. She stopped sobbing, ‘Really mom? I want such a costume..’. ‘OK honey, go join your friend, the dance will start soon’. So, there she was, on the stage, dancing the Seeking for Diamonds dance, but with lazy, angry expression. After the dance was over we went to the mall looked for the costume, as there weren’t any, she decided to have a new backpack, visited the KFC restaurant and came home happily. It was very realistic. A girl age 5 like Lia prefered to wear glamorous costume, with necklace, drop earrings and bracelets than a simple one, a peasant costume. But she would not insist to dance the Rainbow dance if from the start she didn’t chosen as a Rainbow dancer. This should be a lesson for kindergarten teacher……